Parental authority: who decides what after the separation?

After a separation, many parents confuse two distinct ideas: custody, which says where the child lives, and parental authority, which says who makes the decisions about the child. Understanding this difference avoids a lot of day-to-day misunderstanding.

Parental authority is not custody

A parent may not house the child most of the time and still fully keep their parental authority. In most situations this authority stays shared between both parents after the separation, because the child needs both. How the child shares their time is a matter of custody and the best interest of the child.

Everyday decisions and major decisions

Day to day, the parent the child is staying with makes the routine decisions alone, from homework to bedtime. Major decisions, however, such as a change of school, a religious direction or non-urgent medical care, are taken together. This dividing line, simple in appearance, is the source of most tension.

Staying two parents, even at a distance

Joint parental authority means keeping each other informed and consulting one another, even when communication is hard. It is not always comfortable, but it is what lets the child feel they still have two parents. We look at the particular case of distance in the article on shared custody and relocation.

When a parent blocks

Sometimes a parent makes an important decision alone, or refuses any consultation. Options exist to restore the balance and enforce each person's rights, in the child's interest above all. It is better to react early, before the situation settles in.

If you are unsure what you can decide, or about a decision taken without you, a first conversation helps you take stock, in French or English.